Guiding Your Teenager Through A Self-Care Regimen

Life for teenagers these days is considerably harder than when I was a teen. I have two teens at home and I’m very aware that they have longer school days and more challenging expectations in school. The nature of receiving news through alerts and social media makes them often exposed to mature situations on a consistent basis. They’ve got old fashioned problems like bullying, but with a new twist thanks to social media. Now let’s add in activated hormones, and the fact that their brains are not fully developed before the age of 25, which means they’re not always making the best decisions and can still be quite impulsive. Keeping these factors in mind, along with the statistics of teen suicide, makes me passionate about self-care.

I have a teen daughter and son. I will not write about their personal experiences, but I will validate them. I had been thinking about writing this post for a while, but since today is “World Teen Mental Wellness Day,” I felt it was a good time. One reason that I procrastinated about writing it, is that I felt that I didn’t have all the right answers. I realized that developing a self-care regimen for teens is the same as adults, it’s an ongoing work in progress. Starting a routine and trying to be intentional and consistent is the key to success. If you have a teenager in your life, here are some ideas to try to help them.

Open communication lines
Try to address things that are possibly stressful for them, but most importantly, listen. Try to create a safe space, even for difficult topics. Sometimes that means getting creative. If it’s easier for my kids to text me from the next room about something in order to get a dialogue going, I let them. Try not to take anything personal. The end goal is conversation.
Provide professional therapy options.
If necessary, be open about therapy. I’ve done individual and group therapy before, and they know I’m in favor of it. If I offer that as a solution, it doesn’t seem like a big deal. A lot of this requires normalizing self-care options.
Use things that they are passionate about.
Teens today are creative and unique. They love all types of music, art and shows. I don’t understand this Korean pop mania, but I know that a new “BTS” planner and pen set encouraged my daughter to write her schedule and assignments out, color code them and keep track of everything. That translates to control over her day and less stress. If they have a passion, try to incorporate it in some way. Whatever works!
Provide opportunities to unplug.
Everyone’s connected to their gadgets. Teens are no different. I’m trying to do better at this, but providing some outlets where the phones aren’t involved is really healthy. Vacations and physical activity is good for this. They might get the phones in there once in a while, but it’s not the main focus.
Role model as much as possible.
I diffuse oils, practice yoga, talk openly about being overwhelmed and finding solutions, practice breathing techniques, use a journal, etc Casually share how you handled a difficult situation with your teenagers. They’re always listening and paying attention, even when you think they’re not.
Let them know you’re not perfect.
The superwoman mentality is really not all that it’s cracked up to be. Let them know its OK to cry and feel sad sometimes. It’s better to show some vulnerability and how you bounced back from a problem.

Nurture your teens. They’ll be out on their own before you know it. Preparing them mentally is an honor and priority.